2018 will be over in 3 days, and I was a little sentimental today. So I went for a walk with my dog Afu, around the compound for 3 circles and I concluded 3 lessons learned from my 2018.
1. When you want to do something, be patient and wait for the opportunity.
I had known for some time that I’d like to pursue a graduate degree. So I left my job quite abruptly to pursue an internship opportunity which I believe would help me applying to graduate schools. However, after comping the internship, I am having a “gap” in life without a job or certainty on graduate schools… I realised that I had jumped for a chance, not an opportunity.
So for the past month, I lived a “retired life“ at home. After meeting my friends, who are all busy young professionals, I felt unease and disliked my current state very much. Thinking back, I think I would have chosen differently and stayed at my job until I receive a graduate school offer. The research internship is helpful for graduate school application, but it did not guarantee one. First lesson learned, it’s important to have goals and ambitions, but don’t move until a good opportunity, and don’t confuse an opportunity with a chance.
2. There is no right or wrong choices, only good and bad choices.
To be honest, I was quite angry at my father for a while, for pushing me to leave my job in the UK and go to America. I often thought, if I had not listened to my father’s consultations, perhaps I would have been a happier person. On the other hand, if I had not tried living in the US for my internship, I would have missed out many things as well. So many paths can lead to the destination, and every path has a different view.
I remembered something a fund manager once told me, that you shouldn’t try to look for a right choice, instead, look for the good one - one that is made based on careful evaluations and rational reasons, knowing your risks and upsides. What I would like to add, is to always make the choice yourself.
Kant says, enlightenment is men’s release from “self-incurred tutelage”, to be intellectually independent. We could consult people we trust for opinions, but we should always make the decision ourselves. Indeed, it takes courage to make decisions, especially controversial ones. However, it is very difficult to be happy to let other people to decide our lives.
3. When there is no opportunity right now, then enjoy the present and be prepared.
Unlike mathematics, there is never a “perfect” solution in life. Whatever we choose to do, there will be benefits and losses. So I shouldn’t waste energy regretting, or be unhappy.
Such as tonight, I was a little sad that I could have been a young professional busy with building my career, just like all of my friends. However, then, likely I would miss out spending time with my grandma during her last days, or having breakfast with my mom in her new apartment, or walking my dog.
To see the glass half full or half empty, it’s up to your attitude. Therefore, when you are waiting for an opportunity to come, such as a graduate school offer in my case, I should treasure the present “lazy” life, store up my energy, and be prepared for the opportunity when it comes.
p.s. It seems that Afu knows the secret to happiness: live the present and focus on ... yum ...